Dreams/Nightmares

Three times within a month, i have dreamt of terrifying stuff - death, another one i don't recall of but i am pretty sure it is nothing good then murder.

What is going on with me?! I do not want to commit a murder or be murdered then go to hell. Oh, actually in my dream/nightmare i went up. So is it heaven? No idea. It was freaky. Not the kind of heaven that movies always portray with white tall gates, angels, bright golden halos, fluffy clouds and smiles. Instead, it was ghostly people leading a "life" in a mall like place having activities to do. Before i got up there, i was held captive and i manage to run off into the lift. Right before i woke up, my kidnapper caught up with me.

I had another nightmare which i don't recall of but gave me the same confusing feeling waking up like this morning after dreaming about the murder. I was the murderer. It was way beyond what a girl like me can do. All the strength needed to break someone neck. Why are there familiar faces during and after the murder?

These pieces don't fit together. I try and try as i write this to recall what was the other nightmare about hoping to make sense of all this.